Getting down with the locals...

How I know I am becoming Rwandese…

I go out with my phone in my hand not in my bag (sometimes)!

I phone friends just to greet them even if I don’t have anything to actually say, apart from I am phoning to greet you! I have even ‘beeped’ friends too just to say hi! We don’t need to chat – they just need to know I thought of them. I kind of like that!

I can wear a fleece in 30 degree sunshine… as long as I am walking slowly enough – then I don’t get hot. Next: wooly hats and scarves - seriously!

And I'm getting better at slow walking.

One tablespoon of sugar in my tea just isn’t enough.

When I don’t understand I just look blankly and say ‘mmmmm’ in a 'yes' kind of way.

I have been known to go back to bed when there is a thunderstorm.

I have started washing my shoes – people check you know!

I can eat 7 different kinds of carbs in one meal – rice, pasta, potato, sweet potato, cooked banana, cassava, chips… and still have room for more!

I’m not quite so early these days – ‘on time’ is the new late (for me)!

I think auto-tune sounds normal now (on Rwandan radio!!)

I go to shake hands with my VSO friends when I greet them… and ask how they slept, how their morning was, how was the day etc… awkward!

I put my bag on a chair of its own rather than on the floor.

I can send texts while riding a moto.

And use salt as the main seasoning for a meal

But…

I’m never actually late,

I don’t take phone calls during conversations, in class, in meetings… or under the table where I think no-one will notice… or hear!!

Or call my friends from somebody else's phone so they don't recognise the number, but fail to mention that its me for the entire conversation! Keep them guessing!

Or pass my friends' phone numbers to other friends that they don't know so they can make mysterious greeting calls to people they have never met! (Who are you? Have we  met? Did I give you my number? Oh, thank you - have a wonderful day too...speak soon (I'm sure). So who was that?)

I don’t burp in the company of friends or colleagues, or partake in other 'nose related habits' in public...

Or laugh when people say Good Morning to me,

Tell my friends how fat they have become, even if they are looking gooooood...

Declare my love to someone I have just met, whether in person, in a staff meeting, over the phone, at the market...

Beat chairs, desks, bus seats until every trace of dust has been removed,

Use Not when what I really mean is No, as in:

Do you understand?
Not
Did you have enough melange?
Not
Did I give you my number?
Not
Is that enough sugar for you?
Not
Is your seat clean?
Not
Are my shoes ok?
Not
So, are we starting on time this morning?
Not
Did we ever chat about using the word 'no'?...

And until I'm into the swing of conversation, I  generally tend not to start conversations with ‘Did you go to church?’ or ‘Have you got a bible in your house?’ especially at 5.30 in the morning, or on the bus, or to a complete stranger!

 

For now, I haven't developed these habits YET…but there’s still time, ha ha! Perhaps I will pick one to try out for fun!